What is it that makes you angry? – Is it being
ignored? Shouted at? Treated poorly in comparison to others? Mistakes
you’ve made? Mistakes others have made? Feeling humiliated? Criticism?
Others being angry with you?
Who are you most commonly angry with? – Your partner?
Your children? Family? Friends? Work colleagues? Strangers?
How do you express your anger? - Do you ignore it all
together, or until you “blow up”? Blame others? Violent thoughts?
Who are you comfortable with expression your anger? – Your partner? A close neighbour or friend? A parent? No-one?
To cope with anger, first you have to accept responsibility
for your anger. Instead of thinking “you/they made me angry”
say to yourself “I am angry”. You see it is not other people
who make you angry, it may have been something they said or did, but it
is you who responds to these actions in a “negative” away.
However negative may not be the right word to use because anger, when
expressed appropriately as a means to assert yourself, is completely correct.
That kind of anger can be quite positive, as it is not aimed at verbally
or physically hurting others but as an expression of individuality.
So now you know what causes you to become angry or “hot-headed”,
how do you go about calming yourself down?
Breathing exercises – When you are
angry your breathing often becomes short and shallow. When this happens
take note and start taking deep breaths. Picture the oxygen flowing around
your body, refreshing your mind and improving your circulation. For specific
breathing exercises please visit this
article.
A calm word or phrase – Pick a word
or phrase such as “cool down”, “relax” or “take
it easy” and repeat it to yourself while taking long, deep breaths.
Light Exercise – If possible join
a local yoga or tai chi class/course. You will learn how to relax your
muscles and release any “negative” energy.
Imagery – Imagine yourself in a “happy
place”. This can be somewhere you’ve been in the past, somewhere
you would like to go or somewhere you’ve made up entirely. It should
be a place where you can relax and unwind without a care in the world.
Hypnotherapy - In many ways hypnotherapy
is an amalgamation of all the above. Try listening to our audio session on relaxation here.
Thank you for taking the time to read this article, if you
have any further questions or queries do not hesitate to contact me.
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